Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor

 

Cash for Clunkers

Once you are elected to political office you are placed on every possible mailing list.
Every day my e-mail and snail-mail boxes are stuffed full of newsletters and advocacy
bulletins. Each night I sit down, organize and skim all the bullet points of current events.
Last Thursday I was printing updates about the federal Cash-for-Clunkers program when
my demonic printer kicked out page after page of seemingly unrelated data. I sorted
through the mess and read the details about how the federal government is trying to force
aged machinery off the highway. Here is what I learned:

According to page 425 of the Cash-for-Clunkers program, once your car reaches an age
the government deems is no longer of value, you will be required to meet with
bureaucrats once every five years to discuss options for crushing your old Ford LTD.
After all, keeping the old rusted bucket of bolts running consumes scarce resources that
could be better utilized in a younger society.

For you fix-it-yourself types, replacement parts will be limited to newer vehicles;
especially the fuel efficient hybrid ones deemed the greenest by the controlling authority
in Washington. All repairs will be done by government approved and taxpayer funded
maintenance shops. To assist the funding of this gift page 59 explains how you will grant
the government access to your bank accounts so they can make electronic withdrawals.
There is some concern that universal free auto-repair might cause parts shortages so
inventory will be closely monitored. It seems Canada adopted such a program years ago
and the shortage in their country was remedied by them making a quick parts-run across
the border into the United States. Experts predict waiting periods of months to years
should you need something like a new rear-end.

Whoops, I’m sorry; I made a mistake compiling my pages. All the data above does not
refer to the Cash-for-Clunkers program it refers to Universal Health Care, H.R. 676. It’s
not your aged car they want sent to the salvage yard…it’s you.

Every five years all people drawing Social Security will be required to meet with
government counselors to discuss end of life issues like suicide, euthanasia or pain-killers
as an alternative to joint replacement. As a cost saving measure healthcare will now be
provided or denied based on age. How’s that for hope and change?

Isn’t it amazing that in just 233 years the nation that began with the statement that “We
hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their
Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of
Happiness,” is now requiring the consideration of suicide or euthanasia of our aged
citizens. What has happened to our republic?

 
 
 
 
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