Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


     Chained Like a Border Collie 

Stock dog enthusiasts advise to never chain a young pup within ear and eye shot of the squeeze chute when working cattle.  Their herding instinct is so intense they will suffer sensory overload watching an event they were bred and trained to perform.  Last week, I felt like a Border Collie chained to the corral and here is the story. 

On March 12th, the trophy wife and I joined several of our running friends for the Washington, D.C. Rock-‘N-Roll Marathon.  Preparing for a 26.2 mile run in March means lots of winter morning runs on icy roads which is not as much fun as it sounds.  Two weeks before the race I remarked to Druann, “This is the healthiest we have ever been prior to a marathon.”  So far so good.  The very next day we went skiing with my grandchildren—the oldest five mini-Kimmels.  As I snapped the buckles on my right ski boot a sharp pain shot up my leg, but knowing ski boots are purposely painful, I thought nothing of it.  At day’s end, I peeled them off and chugged a couple anti-inflammatory Scottish Ales.  I was living the dream for the moment.   

On a short run at four o’clock Monday morning, I felt the same sharp pain as if I was running in my ski boots.  Tuesday and Wednesday were no better and on a four miler on Friday the same demon nipped my ankle at every step.  Between patients on Friday, I hopped on my x-ray table and snapped a couple films revealing a crack in my fibula an inch above the bone plate I earned five years earlier after crashing while running on the ice.  There is a runner’s adage, “the hardest thing about a marathon is getting to the starting line” and I sadly realized I wouldn’t make this start line.  Idly watching 25,000 other runners would be the perfect analogy to being a chained Border Collie, but that is not my point. 

During our speed tour of D.C. attractions from the Washington Monument to Arlington, it struck me how dramatically America has changed over her 240 years.  Our founders knew American liberty would free the human spirit and expand our horizons beyond our wildest dreams.  Sadly today, freedom and a patriot’s love of country have been replaced with debt, dependency and a love of government.  Watching this transformation while knowing I can do nothing to prevent it frustrates me like a lame Border Collie chained to the corral at pregnancy testing time.             

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