Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


     Feeling the Burn     

It was August 21st of 1979 and I was laying on Waikiki Beach alongside my trophy wife who two days earlier had climbed from the rung of trophy girlfriend.  With the warm tropical sun slowly melting the ice in my umbrella-clad, coconut cocktail, I figured married life was better than I had expected.  I was living the dream.  Suddenly, a voice interrupted my bliss. “Excuse me sir, but you are headed for a bad sun burn.  You white mainlanders underestimate the tropical sun’s power, so please consider some of our sunscreen products at our beach booth.”  I had spent the summer in the hay fields, so above the waist I was as tan as an Irishman can be.  I stared at my rancher’s legs and figured he had a point.  Thinking he could be a Coppertone-shaded, timeshare shark, I ignored him and nestled back into the sand.  

Later that afternoon, this country kid took a real liking to surfing and the cool water disguised the sun blistering my thighs as I laid on my surf board.  Before long, I was sporting the Mount Rushmore of sun burns which I could have avoided had I considered the sage advice of the sunscreen vendor.  I didn’t and this bring me to my point. 

It is a presidential election year and philosophically, Democrats are cookie-cutter replicas.  A progressive voter’s only choice is which candidate looks best in a pant suit.  Republicans, on the other hand, resemble a political smorgasbord in red neckties.  Like every-day Americans, I too am absolutely disgusted with spineless, establishment Republicans capitulating to the Washington, D.C. cartel, so what is a conservative voter to do?  Rubio and Kasich support empowering the ruling class over the unwashed, so they offer more of the same.  Trump and Cruz are the outliers, who just might swat the establishment on its backside, but there is an enormous difference between the two.     

Mr. Trump’s “Make America Great” slogan is nothing more than Obama’s “Hope and Change” mantra modified with a comb-over and a spray-on tan.  Delivering on his promises requires the power of a king rather than the power allowed in a constitutionally limited presidency.  Granted, Trump’s plan to secure the border is an enumerated power found in Article IV, Section 4, but his off-hand remark to rewrite libel laws is expressly prohibited by the First Amendment.     

Ted Cruz, on the other hand, is the only candidate promoting individual liberty within a constitutionally limited central government.  You can blow off my advice, just as I did to the sunscreen vendor, but supporting anyone but Cruz continues us down a path where America suffers a blistering far worse than my Hawaiian sunburn.

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