Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


  My Five Minutes as a Democrat

Long before elected to Montana’s House, I stepped in front of a crowd and told a little white lie; an old fashioned term used to diminish a falsehood.  With today’s progressivism, lying has become so trendy white people profess to be black and men to claim to be women.  Little white lies have been replaced by 50 shades of gray.  My little gray lie helped a friend who found himself in a pickle and here is the story. 

The trophy wife was one of the organizers of Laurel’s Aviation and Technology Week; an educational event swamping our community with students, aircraft, gadgets and gizmos.  My Super Cub was one of the static displays at the Laurel Airport, so I visited with students milling the tarmac watching the many magnificent military flybys.  After an F-16 zoomed overhead, I explained how slow flight dropping in and out of short, bush airstrips in a Super Cub is far more exciting than zipping along faster than the speed of sound.  In truth, most F-16 pilots dream of someday flying a Super Cub.  

As the afternoon progressed, Dick, the flyby organizer, asked for my help.  The Golden Knight parachute team would be jumping overhead and being the Army’s public relations unit, they ceremonially hand a souvenir wooden baton to the presiding elected official.  Yellowstone County Commissioner Kennedy was enroute, but was hopelessly stuck in the snarled school bus traffic hauling thousands of students to the airport.  The winds had been temperamental that afternoon and a sudden calm made the Golden Knight officer anxious to okay the jump.  “This fellow is pushing me,” Dick whispered to me.  “Could you stand in is as Commissioner Kennedy?” 

“Certainly,” I fired back ever willing to take one for the team. 

The Golden Knights jumped, performed their routine, hit the tarmac and began signing souvenir posters.  The commanding officer carried the wooden baton to a makeshift media stand and Dick instructed me to step from the crowd and identify myself as Commissioner Kennedy.  We smiled for the cameras and shook hands as I took the baton while the officer cook-booked his opening remarks.  When it was my turn to respond, I let it rip in my best politician voice.  At first I felt sheepish knowing my address was fraudulent, but then I remembered I was impersonating a Democrat, so the truth didn’t matter.  I welcomed him to Yellowstone County on behalf of the Commission and the organizers of this event.  The roar from the crowd was hypnotic and I immediately felt the insatiable urge to give away other people’s stuff.  I wanted to promise free healthcare, free college tuition, unemployment benefits and food stamps and might have had the crowd not been filled with pilots, highly educated in the law of gravity.   Aviators would instantly spot the precarious similarity of Marxist wealth redistribution to a pilot addressing an inflight emergency by simultaneously exhausting his supply of airspeed, altitude and ideas.  Both will end in a crash.  I kissed a few nearby babies, left the stage and this brings me to my point. 

Politicians lie because it is the easiest way to control the little people.  The entire Democrat platform, from amnesty to Obamacare, is built on a con.  Others should not be smug, as establishment Republicans yearn to join the Democrats in splitting America into the ruling class and the unwashed.  Tyranny always works for the tyrant which is why establishment Republicans fully funded amnesty and Obamacare contrary to campaign promises in 2012 and 2014.  Our only chance to save America is to elect politicians from the liberty wing of the GOP, the only elected officials adhering to their oath of office to support the Constitution.
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