Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


Opening Day

It was my third year of city life at the University of Wyoming. Granted, Laramie might not qualify as a metropolitan center to most folks, but since I was raised in the country I felt as trapped as if I lived in downtown Denver. Ken, a college buddy, grew up in the Devil’s Tower region of Wyoming and he too felt out of place in the urban jungle. Ken and I were trading hunting stories when we decided to attack the opening day of duck season. Apparently our enthusiasm was infectious and my brother, Blaine, and two other friends agreed some duck blind time would counter-balance their career-enhancing cranky women and minority studies classes.

On the sagebrush plains west of Laramie, there are a half-dozen alkali laden lakes and we chose Twin Buttes for our opening morning mallard attack. Being dorm dwellers we lacked normal hunting gear, so we borrowed a two-man inflatable raft and fashioned a couple paddles out of scrap two-by-fours. We arrived at the lake a good hour before daylight and could hear ducks splashing in the shallows as we carried our raft and gear to the water’s edge. Ken and I planned to paddle to a small island while the other three concealed themselves in makeshift blinds a hundred yards away on the north shore. With Ken in the bow and me the stern, I strained to launch us into deeper waters; a task which proved impossible as we were stuck in the mud. Nothing I tried could free us, so Ken stood up, stretched over me and threw his full weight into his two-by-four. Did I mention Ken was a former college football player? With his 250 pounds shifted to the stern, the bow floated free and shot away from the bank. He could have been seriously injured falling on our guns and gear had it not been for my body cushioning the impact. It was his lucky day.

Finally floating free, we paddled toward the island with light just breaking over the eastern horizon. The feeding ducks seemed happy; our antics not alerting them the full wrath of Winchester was about to rain on their parade. Over the next four hours, we shot eight ducks; that was the easy part. Retrieving them took longer because the resident hall handbook specifically prohibits canines. We had no dog. You would think an agriculture college would make dog exceptions during duck season, but rules are rules and this brings me to my point.

Notice, even though we were retriever-less we all had our shotguns and ammo. It was 1977 and university rules permitted firearms to be stored in the office of each dorm to be checked out as needed. A student headed to his duck blind at four o’clock in the morning definitely needed his shotgun so it was no uncommon to see camo-clad country kids packing heat on campus. Things were normal in 1977. Now let’s see the progress the ruling class has made indoctrinating the unwashed over the past 36 years.

On March 1, 2013, seven-year-old Park Elementary student, Joshua, chewed his strawberry Pop-Tart into the shape of a pistol and received a two day suspension for the offense. On April first of this year, two students duck hunting adjacent to Stevenson University provoked a 9-1-1 call triggering a three-hour lockdown of this Baltimore, Maryland campus. Do you see a pattern? Sportsmen who have bought the lie the Second Amendment is about hunting and access to public lands need to think before answering. You are being decoyed.

The “right to keep and bear arms” is about freedom and the ability of the common man to repel tyranny. It will not take another 36 years to convince voters guns are inherently evil and their removal from public ownership is for the greater good. Our massive federal government will never take our firearms by force. Instead, after years of softening and re-education you will surrender them without firing a shot. Welcome to the new, politically correct, progressive America. One entire political party and one-fourth of another would repeal the Second Amendment if they could. Your vote matters and if you do not educate yourself, you will be educated by the ruling class. Think about it.


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