CAUTION: Today’s discussion contains pathological references. Squeamish readers
should skip this column and immediately turn to the classifieds. Hang on; this could get
a little messy. Here we go.

Do you understand the difference between a necropsy and an autopsy? Both contain the
suffix “opsy” which means “examination”. It is the prefix that establishes the difference
between the two words. “Necro” refers to dead things so the word necropsy becomes the
study of dead things. “Auto” is a prefix meaning “self” so an “autopsy” occurs when the
member of one species examines the death of a member of that same species. Thus a
human studying the death of a human is an “autopsy” and interestingly, a dog studying
the death of another dog would also be an “autopsy”. It is when a human studies the
death of a dog, cat, cow or a horse that a “necropsy” occurs. Are you with me?

One of the most interesting and intriguing tasks of being a veterinarian is conducting a
necropsy. Let me explain. Much of what we do in veterinary medicine is based on
information gathered by asking questions, detailed physical exam, and then blood tests,
x-rays, or ultrasound examinations. We compile all this information in our minds and
then arrive at a “medical hunch” as to what is happening. Sometimes we are right and
sometimes we are wrong but we base our opinions on the information we have at the
time. (Only attorneys get to practice medicine through the retrospecto-scope and tell you
what you should have done after having the luxury of reading the final chapter.)

Conducting a necropsy is like peeking in the back of the book and reading the answers to
a quiz. It is quick and certain but from the patient’s perspective it is also fatal, so it is the
diagnostic tool of last resort. Over my years necropsies have shed light on interesting
cases, for example: One spring I visited a herd of bred cows where a few individuals
were developing huge abdomens yet the cows were losing muscle mass as if they were
starving. We “hunched” there was some type of bowel obstruction and we treated
individual patients with mineral oil and magnesium laxatives. We had limited to no
success. The death of one cow afforded us the opportunity to learn more so I hacked and
slashed my way to the answer: The cow’s abomassum, the fourth stomach, was packed
full of plastic bale wrap. Ever the optimist, I viewed this therapeutic failure a diagnostic
success because at least now we knew what we were facing.

In consideration of all the wonderful information relayed above, can you define a
republico-necropsy? It is the study of the death of a republic. (I’ll admit it is an
unfamiliar word. I just created it.) Although I didn’t perform a complete republiconecropsy
at the Montana Energy User’s Summit on Wednesday July 22, 2009, I did open
the carcass enough to recognize what is killing our republic. Here is my preliminary
pathology report:

Knowing that H.R. 2454, the American Clean Energy and Security Act of 2009, is
nothing more than a massive money redistribution scheme from sparsely populated
energy producing states to the densely populated areas, I listened intently to seven hours
of testimony from energy industry representatives. Here is a one sentence synopsis of the
common position held by the Montana Chamber of Commerce, PPL Montana, MDU,
NorthWestern Energy, and the National Cattleman’s Beef Association: “Given the
current state of favorable amendments offered to individual factions affected by
H.R.2454, we have no position.”

And there it is. Just like the amazing discovery of bale wrap stuck in the fourth stomach
of a cow, I find our republic is dying because absolutely no one will stand on principle.
In regards to H.R. 2454, most politicians and every industry, including agriculture, have
cut a deal with the devil and thrown our republic in the dumpster. Certainly there must
be Americans somewhere who would refuse to trade away the core values defined in our
founding documents for the short term gain of sweetheart-deal amendments. Evidently
such patriots only exist in my imagination.