Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor


  Proverbs 32:  The Trophy Wife 

Believers know of the Proverbs 31:10 wife, but you will not find Proverbs 32, as I added this chapter to place King Lemuel’s virtuous wife in a more modern, agricultural setting.  The 31 wife was a land speculator, seamstress, mother, merchant, grape farmer, philanthropist and an ever faithful wife who fears the Lord.  My Proverbs 32 wife does the same, plus works cows.  Here is the scene. 

A couple weeks back, I was Bangs vaccinating replacement heifers.  Typical of Januarys since Al Gore invented global warming, it was a sunny 48 degrees.  I readied my automatic syringe and Darren manned the controls of the hydraulic chute.  (Irrational leftists should know an “automatic syringe” is actually semi-automatic with only one shot fired per trigger pull.  No heifers were harmed in telling this story.)  Steve and Linda, the heifers’ owners, were vaccinating and tagging on the left side of the chute.  Levi filled the crowding tub, but one more set of hands would be helpful when miraculously, Julie, David and Daniel suddenly appeared.  David is Julie and Darren’s oldest and because he is only three, he held mostly a supervisory role safely perched on a high shelf near his dad.  He was packed so full of questions they bubbled out the entire time.  Daniel was quieter mostly due to the binky plugging his question hole.  He is a coming one-year-old and was contently suspended in a baby sling strapped to his mother’s left side.  This left Julie’s right arm completely free to run a hot-shot, twist tails, or nurse a third child should one come along, and this brings me to my point.

 I coined the term trophy wife, tagged it to Druann and peppered my columns with it for ten years.  It is term of endearment and respect, yet I have since learned it also serves the bonus purpose of absolutely enraging perpetually-offended liberals.  Normal folks understand the term and at speaking engagements, regular readers frequently introduce me to their trophy wives; ladies who can pack one baby in a sling and run a hot-shot all to rear the great American family.     

Julie is a Proverbs 32, trophy wife whose worth “is far above rubies.”   If God has blessed you with one, as He did Darren, Steve and yours truly, you best give thanks for a blessing you really did not deserve.  In case you missed it, Valentine’s Day was last week.                        


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