Many years ago I examined a German Shepherd named Baby who stuck herself in a bit of a pickle. The door to a storage shed in her backyard was left ajar on an exceptionally boring summer afternoon, and while curiously exploring the shed, she managed to stick her head through the center hole of a 16-inch steel rim and tire. Evidently, she imagined there was something wonderful hiding inside the rim, so she stretched harder and harder until finally “pop,” her head was through. Now what?

Baby’s owner came home, looked in the backyard and noticed her doing a headstand in a Goodyear Wrangler. She was uncertain how long Baby had been in this predicament but it was long enough she was through the panic phase of the performance and had resigned herself to the fact this was how life would be from now on.

The owner sprinted to the backyard and lifted the tire. As would be expected from man’s best friend, Baby was happy to have company and she wagged her tail. Numerous attempts were made to lubricate Baby’s head with butter, motor oil, and soap, but her head was stuck. Obviously this dog needed the professional assistance of either a veterinarian or a tire man, so she and her tire were loaded in the back of a pickup and driven to my clinic.

Baby arrived looking well-oiled and windblown but happy. (It is great being a dog; complete strangers walk up and scratch you behind your tire.) I had seen this syndrome before so I folded the patient’s ears back against her neck and slipped off the rim. I was happy, the owner was happy, and Baby was very happy.

Here is my point: This dog had a great life in her own backyard but curiosity prompted her make a life altering mistake. Americans are about to make an equally devastating mistake by throwing away the world’s best healthcare system for the imaginary goodie of socialized medicine. Baby did it out of curiosity; we are being instructed to do it.

Socialists in Congress and the Whitehouse are encouraging us to figuratively stick our heads through the free-healthcare hole. “There is something good on the other side,” they coach, although none of them will stick their heads through the hole. The program they advocate is just for the little people; member of Congress and the Whitehouse retain the privileged healthcare of the ruling elite.

The House version of this monstrosity is 1990 pages long and costs $1.055 trillion dollars. It is being promoted as deficit neutral, which is a bit of a stretch. It adds nothing to the national debt because taxpayers fund the entire thing with immediate new taxes. Benefits don’t begin until 2013. Here comes another Ponzi scheme.

Just like Social Security, where young workers pay the benefits of the retired, the healthcare scheme relies on the same transfer of wealth. The big difference and it’s a big one, under the healthcare Ponzi scheme the aged are expected to die. Yup, the death panels made the cut and are in the bill, although they prefer to be euphemistically referred to as “end of life counselors.”

This plan is from the same thinkers that labeled the Cash-for-Clunkers program a resounding success although they wasted $24,500 taxpayer dollars for each $200 clunker. You Americans expecting another government freebie must realize you are nothing more than a pawn being manipulated to create dependency. Once government controls healthcare they control every aspect of your life. They will dictate what you eat, drink, and smoke, where you live and work, how you drive, what you weigh, how much you exercise, and how many guns you own. You either do as they say or you will be thrown under the bus. Just like Baby discovered once her head was stuck in the hole, there is no turning back once your neck is locked in the yoke of an oppressive government.

This madness will never end and I am tired of writing about it. I can think of a hole I would like to stick all 1990 pages of this legislation.