Some things in life are unimaginable until you experience them; the citizen legislature in Montana is one of them. Wednesday morning we representatives were gathering in the Old Supreme Court Chambers of the capitol building to elect leadership for the upcoming session. I expected my race for speaker to be close and we were counting noses to be certain all my supporters were in attendance. A winter storm made us short two.

My stress was cut in half when my cell phone buzzed and Rep. Dan Kennedy from Billings said, “I’m almost there; the roads are solid ice and the highways are a crawling mass of cars. I even got a speeding ticket this morning. By the way, is there a place in the capitol where I can shave?” Dan had left hunting camp in the Gravellys that morning and he was carrying that wilderness aura typical of people who spend a week in the woods.

“Don’t worry about it,” I fired back. “You’ll look just like nearly-a-senator Joe Miller from Alaska.” Dan zoomed down the highway at 15 mph and decided to save time by changing out of his hunting wools into his church clothes as he sped along. Just to be safe, he wasn’t texting. I was happier than most when he limped into the chamber, oh yes, I forgot to mention he had knee surgery ten days ago.

With half my problem solved, we constitutional conservatives focused our attention on Rep. Bill Harris. Bill lives 275 miles from Helena and he was traveling Highway 200 through the extremely remote mid-section of Montana. Cell service is nonexistent in many places of Montana and Bill was slipping down the highway through one of those. He topped a rise the second Rep. Ryan Osmundson hit the “Send” button on his cell phone in the Supreme Court Chambers. “I got him,” Ryan hollered. “Bill, freeze; don’t move. You can vote over the phone.” Being a dutiful public servant, Bill pulled his one-ton Ford ranch pickup (complete with Hydrabed and Border Collies) off to the side of the road and waited. The House Republican Caucus was open for business.

I took the podium and delivered my spiel for speaker. My typical tea-party diatribe runs about 50 minutes, but I delivered this message in ten. Rep. Mike Milburn used a few charts in his presentation so his words were slightly longer than mine. Bill sat. The vote was called and from a race of two, I finished second. This was my first election loss and Rep. Randall poetically said, “You didn’t come to join the club; you came to join the fight.” He is right. Bill sat some more.

With our new speaker elected, the caucus trudged through the task of choosing a majority leader, speaker pro-temp, and four whips. Including nomination speeches, 26 representatives rose to address the group, few were short winded and it took three hours to meet our responsibilities to the citizens of Montana. Fortunately, I was sitting in the back of the Chamber so I could slip out to stretch my legs while the different votes were counted. Bill sat.

Hours later all the legislators and staff gathered for an evening banquet. Bill wandered in late with a funny looking red mark on his ear. In spite of Mother Nature’s attempt to freeze the wheels of making law, all legislators were present or accounted for. Montana’s 62nd Legislative Session began their orientation.