With summer slipping away, today’s column focuses on
the dreaded freshman 15s.
Yes, there are two.
Few
soon-to-be college freshmen consider the big 15s
when pondering their future, but they should.
First, I will chew the fat about the 15 with
which you are familiar.
I groan when I hear advertisements warning of
hungry children in America knowing the greatest
public health threat to our poverty class is
obesity.
How ironic.
Recent news reports suggest obesity also
might be racist as 32 percent of whites are morbidly
overweight, compared to 48 percent among blacks.
Claiming they are “losing more people to
sweets than to the streets,” two D.C. pastors,
William Lamar and Delman Coates are suing Coca-Cola.
With 15
percent of whites consuming one or more soft drinks
per day compared to 20 percent for blacks, the
pastors blame inner-city, soft drink advertising
campaigns for their fat parishioners.
If soda pop is a major player in obesity and
the freshman 15, negating those calories by
switching to sugar-free, diet drinks should solve
the problem.
However, the University of Manitoba recently
published a study showing those consuming chemically
sweetened foodstuffs suffer an even greater
incidence of obesity than the general population.
Therefore,
it is impossible for students surviving on the four
dormitory food groups of Doritos, pizza, Diet Coke
and television to avoid the dreaded freshman 15.
On the bright side, 18-year-olds adding 15
pounds is a temporary inconvenience which can be
corrected by adopting a no-sugar, no-flour ration
upon graduation.
The second freshman 15, the 15,000 dollars
most students squander every year in college, is my
real concern.
Few millennials can petty cash 15K, so they
default to the federal student loan program
unknowingly imprisoning themselves to a lifetime of
debt.
The borrower is always slave to the lender and this
brings me to my point.
Most college degrees are worthless; a truth
which offends the perpetually offended.
History, sociology, philosophy, literature,
communications, psychology, anthropology, animal
science and biology degrees strengthen one’s
employment opportunities no more than a BA in angry
women studies.
Before you commit to decades of debt, study
your job options upon graduation and if it doesn’t
pay, don’t enroll.
The best way to avoid the dangerous, second
freshman 15 is to get a job, learn a trade, join the
military, or start a business right out of high
school.
Contrary to what the ruling class tells you, many
successful and intelligent people never set foot in
a college indoctrination center.
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