“Sucking hind tit” is a common slang phrase. It refers to the fact a nursing sow’s teats closer to the squealing end of the pig are greater producers of milk than the rear ones. Hence, when you are “sucking hind tit” you are not getting your fair share of something. Let me explain.

A nursing sow in a farrowing crate is a biological marvel; she eats, drinks, and sleeps in one place without ever putting down the remote or getting off the sofa. (Insert your favorite mother-in-law joke here.) With a chain of eight teats up each side, she efficiently converts the protein of her ration into milk to grow the mini-pork chops nursing each nipple. As long as she is properly fed, our little bacon strip factory hums right along. If you pull a few piglets away from their breakfast bar they squeal and scamper back to the closest nipple—hence the popular political analogy comparing a lactating sow to the federal treasury. Now, we are going to leave our momma sow and piglets while I jump to the next subject.

On Friday I introduced HB321, legislation “nullifying the federal endangered species act (ESA).” President Nixon blessed America with this unconstitutional decree in 1972. It sailed through Congress with bipartisan support, garnering only four negative votes. (Hence, my innate opposition to any legislation billed as bipartisan; it’s generally slaps taxpayers on both cheeks.) No act has choked economic development or shifted regulatory control to the central government more than the ESA. To a Marxist hell-bent on destroying American capitalism, this is their nuclear warhead. Actual success stories of the ESA are limited to a handful of species. However, advocates always retreat to the fall-back, unarguable position, “Imagine how many species would be extinct had we not done anything.” (Similar logic was used when evaluating the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act and all the jobs it saved.)

My argument against the ESA was this: The Tenth Amendment clearly states “powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution…are reserved to the states.” Nowhere in the Constitution is the power enumerated for the federal government to define the type and number of species permitted in the various states. Therefore, the ESA is unconstitutional and it is Montana who should make endangered species decisions within her borders. This sounds simple enough, but here is where the other shoe drops.

When sovereign states nullify unconstitutional federal law, Uncle Sam coercively jerks all federal funds associated with said nullified act. As such, the federal government threatens to pull $357 million from Montana’s DOT, $54 million from the DEQ, $29 million from the DNRC, $22 million from FWP, and $472 thousand from the Department of Ag, yearly for perpetuity. This 500 million dollar reduction would eliminate nearly 800 jobs from state government and during the public hearing, panicked state department heads scrambled for funding excuses like baby pigs hunting an open nipple.

If this seems draconian, consider this: Money from the federal government originates from the taxpayers, so essentially they are bribing us with our own money. Granted, Montana, like 32 other states, is considered a welfare state because we receive more federal funds than we pay in taxes. However, once you pencil in the freebies from the Bush bailouts and the Obama stimulus plans, the true number of welfare states approaches 50. How is this possible for all these states to receive more in benefits than they pay in taxes? Simple really; it’s all a fraud because it’s all debt. Congress spent $1.5 trillion more last year than they collected and our national debt has passed $14.4 trillion, so they are actually bribing us to adhere to the ESA with debt to be shouldered by our grandchildren. What a gimmick.

Now, let’s get back to our momma pig. Every state program is scrambling for a cash nipple. Figuratively, our nursing sow is being fed corn borrowed from China. Unfortunately, she is developing mastitis and her production is plummeting. Department heads are squealing for any available teat, and given the sad state of the old sow, they will even “suck hind tit” just to fund things a few more years. Like all the other 50 states, Montana will keep nursing until the old sow either dries up or dies. Most elected officials are timid and lack the self-discipline to make the really hard decisions and step away from the nipple.