New readers in new markets mistakenly think trophy
wife is a demeaning term.
It is not, here being why:
When I turned 16 and had access to the family
station wagon, I figured I needed a girlfriend.
I put the same effort into picking a
homecoming date as ranchers do when selecting
replacement heifers, so after studying the honor
roll, and the girls’ volleyball roster, I spotted
the perfect girl. I
asked her to the dance and she said “Yes.”
Seven years later, I asked her to marry me
and she fell for it again.
Our 38 years of marital bliss, three children
and 17 grandchildren prove I have a great eye for
cattle.
(Let’s pause here while the thought police peel
themselves from the ceiling panels.
It is so easy to trip their triggers.)
Here is just one of the several ways she
earned the trophy wife moniker.
While building our second home, we lived in a
cramped, fifth-wheel camper.
Rather than dragging the trailer to town to
drain the holding tanks every week, I bolted a
toilet seat to a sawed-off 55-gallon barrel, dug a
pit in the sagebrush and covered it with a tepee
tent. Our
prairie commode would have made Martha Stewart
proud, save the small inconvenience of banging on
the barrel as a snake check before plopping your
backside onto the seat.
On the bright side, our dogs loved the snake
check when the banging kicked out a rabbit.
Early one July morning, I was peeling and
notching log trusses, when the trophy wife stepped
from the camper. Her
hair was still wet from the shower and she wrapped
herself in a towel for the short stroll to the
toilet tepee.
Our Saint Bernard and Chocolate Lab spotted
her and shot from under the camper, jockeying to get
the prime position for a rabbit chase.
“Don’t forget the snake check,” I kindly
offered.
She rolled her eyes but said nothing.
Minutes later, she returned to the camper to
finish cooking breakfast while I pondered the glory
of the moment.
For six months, the trophy wife never
complained about our prairie privy, because she is
not a princess—she is a keeper.
Over the years, I have met readers who God
has also blessed with trophy wives and they proudly
introduce them as such.
Rather than
being demeaning, trophy wife is an endearing redneck
term for a Proverbs 31 wife whose “worth is far
above rubies.”
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