The
trophy wife jerked up lame while running Wednesday
morning. She would be considered three-legged lame
were she a brood mare, but she isn’t, so the human
term must be one-legged lame. She was too injured to
make it the three miles home, so our friend, Lisa,
ran for her car. Fifteen minutes later, the trophy
wife was flat on the sofa, drugged up on ibuprofen,
with her foot wrapped in a bag of frozen green
beans. I fixed breakfast, placed her I-Pad, cell
phone, and a thermos of hot coffee all within reach,
covered her in warm blankets and left for work.
I returned around lunch to see the trophy wife low
on coffee and mostly in the same position where I
had left her. While switching vegetables to frozen
corn, I examined her injury. The outside of her foot
was markedly swollen and turning black and blue, so
I figured x-rays were in order. After lunch, she
hobbled to the pickup, I hauled her to my clinic and
we snapped a couple x-rays showing she wasn’t faking
it. She had ripped the head off the outermost bone
on the bridge of her foot; an avulsion of the fifth
metatarsal bone. A tendon from the calf muscle
inserts here, so once it fractures the contraction
of the calf muscle becomes useless and the heel
collapses to the ground, just as she described in
the pre-dawn darkness.
I hauled her home, changed her frozen vegetables and
put her back on the sofa. A quick search of her
pedigree showed no family history of osteoporosis,
so barring other complications this fracture should
heal with conservative therapy; measures useful in
both medicine and politics. I went to the closet and
dug out the walking boot I used after fracturing my
fibula two years earlier. After tweaking it we
discovered the boot was too large to allow her to
work freely in front of the stove. This was serious;
who will cook dinner? A quick check revealed similar
access issues at both the sink and dishwasher—this
complication was now epic. A quick trip to the
Laurel Medical Center produced a walking boot of
appropriate size so thankfully, the trophy wife was
able to resume her proper place directly in front of
the kitchen appliances. Wait for it…
Most left-wingers stroked-out after reading the
previous paragraph. Those still conscious are
sprinting to their lap tops to compose nasty-grams.
I doubt I pushed the envelope far enough to receive
death threats; a response historically reserved for
my columns on Christ, contraception, gay marriage,
or free-roaming bison. Because none of these
self-proclaimed, tolerant leftists will read the
remainder of my column, the rest of us can have a
semi-private conversation which was the purpose of
my story. Now to my point.
Under the guise of political correctness, leftists
aggressively attack anyone possessing an opinion
different than their own; a technique promoted by
Saul Alinsky. At the first sign of weakness, these
attacks intensify and continue until opponents are
rendered meaningless, sniveling wimps. Only
politicians who know the Truth and bear the full
armor of God stand a chance against the onslaught,
so my advice to all newly elected public servants is
this:
We are a Christian nation with a Divinely inspired
Constitution and in your oath of office you will
pledge your allegiance to this sacred, eternal
document. American liberty and its resultant bounty
is the tool God uses to relieve suffering and spread
goodness across the globe. However, because
collectivism and liberty are mutually exclusive
conditions, if you hold true to your oath and
advance freedom you will alienate the political
party endorsing the wealth redistribution principles
of Marx and half of the other which embraces
compromise. You will be attacked for this, so are
you up for the abuse or will you surrender and keep
feeding the alligator hoping he eats you last?
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