Weekly Posting of the Conservative Cow Doctor

 

 You’re Fired

The rules were pretty simple when I was a kid; we were not to curse. You could occasionally get by with a one word slip if you were working out in the corral, but mostly swearing was deemed unacceptable. A “special emphasis clause” applied if Mom was in ear shot, not so much out of respect as it was out of fear as to how Fang might react. I never witnessed a wanton violation of the “special emphasis clause” until I was in my 30’s. Tuesday’s shocking primary election in Delaware jogged my memory of the incident.

It was the mid 1980’s and I was in Wyoming doing embryo transfer work on a couple of our Gelbvieh cows. Mom was running the head catch and my younger brother, Blaine, was pushing the donor cow up the alley. “Pushing” is the correct verb as this stubborn old gal locked all fours and refused to step into the chute. Blaine poked her, slapped her, twisted her tail completely around…twice…before he gave up and threw his shoulder into her escutcheon and lifted her backside up in the air. (Escutcheon is the triangular sheet of hide between a cow’s vulva and the top of her udder. I am using this analogy just so I can use the word “escutcheon.” Work that word into the conversation at your next cocktail party and people will think you are smarter than you really are.)

Blaine’s face was flame red, the veins were popping out on his neck and the sweat was streaming down his face. I know everyone has a snapping point, but I had never seen Blaine reach his. That afternoon, Blaine did. With perfect clarity, like it was broadcast through a million dollar PA system, he hollered, “Get in the chute you *&^%%$%%$)(*&##@#@$# son of #@$#%^&^%^^^%$#...!” The world froze.

My jaw dropped. Mom’s hands fell limply from the head catch lever; her mouth sprang open without a sound. Even the cow bent her neck around and stared at Blaine in disbelief. (Apparently even she knew the “special emphasis clause.”) I can’t say for sure, but I bet at that moment water swirling in toilets of the northern hemisphere reversed and spun in a counter-clockwise direction. Then, for no apparent reason, the cow quietly stepped in the chute. End of story and this brings me to my point.

Just as Blaine reached his limit, voters in Delaware reached theirs on primary day, September 14th. Americans are furious about this nation’s incremental move into socialism and yet the ruling class politician just doesn’t get it. I’ll be blunt: Whether you consider yourself a Republican or Democrat matters not, this election cycle if you are a progressive you are going down. Christian, conservative Christine O’Donnell soundly defeated 17 year progressive Republican Representative Mike Castle; something the conventional wisdom pundits said couldn’t be done. He is just one of many which will be turned out to pasture because Americans aren’t going to take it anymore. Progressives, you’re fired. We patriots are taking our country back and will only support public servants who will abide by their oath of office to “support, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States”…so help us God. The line is drawn!


 
 
 
 
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